I was born into a world which judged people by the looks they offered, by the things they wore, and by the things they did. I was raised with this message that sin is beauty. I was told that if I did good, bad or indifferent I was pleasing God. It’s not a message I really particularly enjoyed or understood. And as I grew older, adults continued to tell me that I must look like Jesus to get into heaven. This was probably brainwashing from my Christian parents, but it was how I was interpreting the world around me, according to the teachings of my religion.
brains trained me to be a certain way, it did not make me sensible and I was not led to the right conclusions nor tested to see if they were true. It took decades before I began to see that the religion of Christianity was full of crap and that the original message, according to the theologians, was basically not true. It was the misinterpretation andance of the scholars and teachers who had a hold on the religion at that time. It was the students and disciples who forced this interpretation on the teachers and followers, without any consideration or input from them, that I found disappointing.
And so I began to question not only the teachings of my religion, but my interest in all religions. I began to see that all religions were condemning others to hell, without the right of choice. It was the warriors and martyrs who fought and died in the name of their God or Goddess who were going to heaven, who should be punished, not the innocent children and adults who had never harmed anyone. When I first heard this I was shocked and it was very wrong what I was hearing.
When I became a adult and started doing my own thinking, it was during one of those dark periods when I felt abandoned by everyone including my family. I was 22 years old when I left home and had no one to turn to besides my sister. She was very angry at me and I was a nervous wreck. I had the money I needed, a new house, car, used car, I was even married, so why should I listen to what these people were telling me. During those years, I started searching for answers. I always believed that the world was a cruel place, where honesty was none existent and anyone who said anything was out to get you. I just could not accept that anyone would tell me the truth, especially people who claimed to have psychic abilities. I was very angry with them.
So when I asked about psychic abilities, I was not shocked, but surprised, that anyone could actually convey the truth. I was glad that I had come into this world without being able to see or hear. But I also knew that there was a part of me that could not comprehend logic.
My world became a blur of associating with different people and their worlds. I started to associate with the people who I thought were “evil” just because they were rich and famous, or had friends with “good” looking women. I did not care what it was because I did not understand that this was how the world was, it was how I had created it to be. But even that little part of me started questioning the validity of the way the world was. Aren’t people who are so-called bad sinners? And after they had all gone down on their knees and begged for forgiveness so many times, how could I forgive them? And even though I believed in the Christian concept of reincarnation, where after death you could go to a once suffered world or a world where you were persecuted and tortured because you believed in Jesus as your personal savior I could not help but think about the greater implications of what I was learning and that there was more to it than what I was being taught.
But even though my knowledge was limited to what I could understand in the limited realms of my world, I was open to the possibility that there was more to it than what my limited senses could know. I became even more confused by the reports that were coming out of the news about the war in Africa when I saw how well the fighting between forces actually resembled that on battlefields in the Middle East and in Europe where more than three million people have lost their lives, but the battle continues. And yes, the carrying of machine guns, rocket propelled fragmentation ordnance, mortars, and dozens of other weapons are exactly as deadly as natural weapons of mass destruction always were.
But in our so-called ” civilized world” there is absolutely no consideration given to the reader’s spiritual age, or his/her lack of one, causing him/her great suffering, unless he/she has actually tried practicing an occult – often condemned by the churches.