“I took my life long time ago,” says an upbeat Alan, 7. “Many years ago I said I wished I could take back all those bad feelings.”
Yeah, remembersicleof late Alan, a bad memory lot on shoulders. ACompletenessis never too far away as we think of it.
Sound off: “I took my life long time ago because I was weak,” says Another boy, 8. “I had to come to a place where I let go of my feelings and let God fill those feelings and memories with other things.”
Once again, “Many years ago,” the young man says, “I said I wished I had some quiet place to work out any negative feelings. I had a problem at home with my dad. I said I wished I had some bad things to do to myself as a way to get rid of the bad things he had done to me.”
You see, Alan was himself the victim of abuse. The terrible experience soured him, so that he never felt able to forgive his father for what he had done to him and his mother for not doing more to help him.
Things could have been much worse. “As bad as things were at home, I had a chance to do something about it,” he says. “I got angry with God and asked Him to give me a reason to forgive my dad and forget the bad things he did to me. I said, ‘Let me do something good so I don’t have to feel like this ever happened again.'”
Talk about forgiveness!! That’s what all these kids are doing, but they don’t generally get to the bottom of their ownatory, to heal the hurts they caused their perpetrators. Instead, they forgive. But it wasn’t their father’s (or mother’s) fault that they did not forgive–therefore, no need to forgive.
One boy, Wham, 12, says: “I would have lost confidence in myself if I would have heard things said about me. I forgive a lot. I try not to think of bad things but things do happen.”
That’s a positive attitude, balanced as it is between forgiveness and responsibility. Of course, it’s not good enough to forgive Jasmine, or any other individual for that matter, because things will still happen (well, in the realm of the physical), and one should never forgive an individual for his or her own bad behavior.
However, had the victims in these incidents not gotten well and strong enough to deal with the situations, neither one would have happened.
“I don’t think my dad would have gone down on me,” says Amber, 10, or even “For once in my life, I think he would have been nice to me.”
In most cases, the parents involved are probably too stubborn and hard-hearted to care about their offspring’s negative behavior towards their abuser.
And if he or she isn’t willing to forgive, the incident is even worse. In that case, what is one to do?
In the final analysis, one has to decide what one can forgive, and what one cannot forgive.
Forgiveness is based on this basic premise: Whatever you have experienced, you cannot have gone on continuing with it without sincerely correcting it.
The trouble is that people usually consider things they wish they had done or not done as “forgiven.” There is usually a presumption that people have not forgiven for a very long period of time. And so they keep putting it off.
So, what really is forgiveness?
Forgiveness is release from the guilt and bitterness that surround some of the calamities within this world. The calamities happen, but who is at fault? God is not at fault. He cannot be blamed, because he has given his children free will. He is only a big parent and bears no personal responsibility.
Humans have always been given a sense of guilt on things mainly due to their incurable sinfulness. Remember, God does not attribute the cause to him. Romans 3:23 says,”For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”This means that all of us are sinners. You sin when you eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Ephesians 5:20 says,”And be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”If you sin, the Lord has not sinned against you; but you sin against God. He has not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
cured from sin is a fairytale, and many are expecting to be freed from their sins after reading the Bible and hearing dad’s story.