One of the steps I’ve taken on my journey to wellness is that I spent most of a year zeroing out my fears. It was a huge step for me because I spent most of my life with presentations and presentations. I had to be the leader of the group and so it was critical for me to be the speaker and the focus. I had to set an example and so it was critical that I be an example. I also had a fear of being hurt because I never seem to look vulnerable.
So how did all those fears related to speaking my truth in a group create hurt, for it created a lot of potential for it to do so. I finally realized that I don’t think that fear itself is a terrible thing, that in fact, maybe it is just a necessary first step to living in the truth. So then, how was I to get rid of my fear? That was a difficult one too. I kept asking people if they thought that fear was necessary or was it a bad thing. Everybody just breathed a sigh of relief. I kept asking that everybody thinks fear is bad but they didn’t think so. I started to think maybe they were thinking because they’ve never experienced anything that they thought in that way. And so I thought my fear was representing an illness in my life. Not really a health issue but more of a hinderance to my success.
I started asking people what they thought and they said that they thought that fear was representative of our true selves. And then I started thinking more deeply about health issues and what it would take for me to be truly healthy. I had big hopes and had done study on health issues and wanted to do some consultations regarding my health. I had hopes of being able to work in a hospital staff to help others who were physically challenged but it didn’t happen. I thought that perhaps I was not an appropriate candidate to help others. I started to doubt the diagnosis that the doctor was able to give to the family. It seemed that my abilities were limiting factors to why God wanted me to be there. I didn’t even have the faith to replace the miracles that I was made to be.
During this same time in my life, I started to use my psychic gifts to tune into my intuition and my gifts ofoved ones in spirit. I had one particular spirit that came to me very consistently and that was Sam (she goes by many names). She is a female with bright, dark, hair, and great, lustrous, eyes. She has also helped many people with their intuition. I refer to her as an Angel because shes’ an Angel.
One day while driving home, I saw how an old man drove by my truck that was stopped and he was asleep. I felt grateful for the chance to be an ear for someone to listen to. I honked at him to wake him up but he was asleep. I was about to give up and not have any more luck, when I saw a truck drive by me and it was Sam. She stopped to the side of the road and waited for me. I pulled over and got out and she wrapped her arms around me and comforted the hurting part of my body that was covered in blood. (She had come to help me to wash the blood off my own self, an act in itself) She declared that she had been praying for me all day and that she was very happy that she did. Once again, she showed her wonderful, warm,big sister heart and all of sudden, I felt loved and needed to get home.
There is no substitute for human connections and I fully understand that they are important in forming any kind of human charity or support group. For me, my friends and family make me happy and I am grateful for those kinds of connections. I also know that I am blessed to have such wonderful friendships and support from my closest friends.
In closing, I know the power of pure unconditional love and I am very grateful for that. I also know that the huge range of colors, spiritual service, and beliefs that all of us have is fantastic for us all. To connect to our spirituality, our brothers and sisters, and those who are unseen as well as those who have a voice to shout, make the world a much richer place for everyone to live.